so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
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I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
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Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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