Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.