so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"