your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
