Apparently you make a good broom.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
