Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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