k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
