I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i will never coherently bang her
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize