my mouth tastes like poor choices
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
