i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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