they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
