He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
