omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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