do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's a Shit stain on my heart
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize