Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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