So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
