is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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