fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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