the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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