? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
