Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
