can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
