my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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