I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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