somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
