I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
