She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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