Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize