just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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