i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
