We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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