Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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