It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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