windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
