so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize