Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize