dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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