So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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