At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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