TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
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My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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