i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
