Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
