I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
