...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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