i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize