go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
