she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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