Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize
