singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
