i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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