I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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