I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
