Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize