I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize