I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
