Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
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Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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