HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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